The world needs more people leading by example and less people telling what example to set or whose example to follow. Be who you think you should be, and if you're doing it right, people will follow without being commanded.

If you believe a problem is so big that only God can solve it, then the problem is too big to be solved--not because God cannot solve it, but because you don't believe you can. We devalue ourselves by believing that only an omniscient sky-being can set us free.

Why do Athiests pray?

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
― Søren Kierkegaard
 

God

“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.”
― Albert Einstein, The World as I See It

“God has no religion.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“I sought to hear the voice of God and climbed the topmost steeple, but God declared: "Go down again - I dwell among the people.”
― John Henry Newman

Praise God

For years, I've felt funny saying this. I'd always prayed to deities, even thanked them, but "Praise God!" seems like a phrase for Christians and the like. It belongs to a club that I'm not part of, so I've only said it jokingly. Now that I see God in such a different light, it doesn't feel weird to say it at all. You'd think it would feel even weirder. God is not a deity and thus doesn't need, want or require praise. Praise isn't for god's benefit, though. It's for yours--for your soul's. Knowing your blessings, counting them, feeling truly thankful for them, the little things and the big things--gratitude--this is good for you. Praise God, in the abstract, when an unexpected twist of fate blesses you; praise the God at the heart of you when you have done well, whether it's accomplishing a long-held goal or simply showing strength in a moment of strife. It's good for you.

It's easy to blame God or yourself for the things that go wrong, but if you have faith that in the long-term everything is being set up to go right, and you don't lose your sense of gratitude for that, it's a lot easier to get through the tough moments without becoming bitter. I don't know if I'll be able to put this into practice through everything I endure, but it seems to be worth a shot. So far, so good. I got a lot of "wrongs" and no idea how they're going to turn into "rights," but I think if I just keep following my heart, it'll lead me where I'm supposed to be. Every morning when I wake up I'm being given another day to work towards getting there. Glory be to God for that. The universe loves me, and you, and God is Love. I resolve to praise God whenever I damn well please!

Every soul is a peice of God.

Together, we are God, but individually, we are our own Gods.

There is no deity, but there is a higher power--in the universe and in every soul.

Fate & Alchemy

"Everything happens for a reason."
"God works in mysterious ways."

More old adages that people love to say to those who are suffering or dealing with loss. We nod our heads and smile at the offered comfort, but they sound like empty words. Everything happens for a reason--what reason? God works in mysterious ways--what good could come from this?

I think the universe has an inherent goodwill towards all men. It is constantly looking out for you, moving you towards your destiny or where you should be, giving you chances to shape your destiny with your choices, granting you little blessings that you don't even see. You can call this force God, the Universe, Fate, Chance, Lady Luck, Destiny, whatever you like, but it's really just a finely woven pattern of events, a never-ending chain reaction that is in action at all times for all people. Worship it if you want, but it's not a deity and could care a less. Far better to be grateful to it and for it and to simply have faith in it, I'd say.

Karma works through this force (as well as the free will of others); what you're sending out the universe will eventually bring back to you, and you will reap as you sow. The universe will give you what you deserve, in the end, and it's up to you what you deserve. The universe is not god, though; it is a machine whose purpose is to maintain balance. It doesn't think or make choices or hand down decrees; people do. The energy, and life force, and goodwill of the universe, which is in every living thing, all of this is God, but only men can consciously manifest it. Only you can make the choices that lead to your destiny and take control of it. The natural goodwill of the world will do little for you if you haven't uncovered the deity within you.

Everything does happen for a reason. There are no coincidences. Every little thing that happens to you was meant to happen. When you take a moment to light a cigarette, and a parent swipes a toddler from behind your car that would have been hit if you hadn't paused, that's a shining example--one small, insignificant action averts a major catastrophe. Even the bad things that happen are setting you up for good things. Sometimes, the Force is a bit of a trickster that way. Sometimes it works through alchemy, forcing you to sacrifice something, so that it can give you something else.

I was sobbing in my car over my dog when I realized I needed to go home, and as soon as I got on the road, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace--like I was right where I needed to be, and the dog was right there with me. I got into town on a day when my spirit sister desperately needed to see me, in time to spend Mother's Day with my kids and save their dad from having to quit school, and came home with three extra passengers that are already having a positive benefit on this household. I was expecting to return with a dog, and the universe gave me a cat and one of my sons as well. If I were a Christian, I'd be praising Jesus. God does indeed work in mysterious ways--or should I say, the universe does.

When one door closes, three more are standing open for you. And there are signs everywhere to help you find your way. Every song you hear that sets the wheels in your mind spinning, every coincidence you notice that stops you in your tracks, every dejavu moment and chance encounter--they're all little signs. Tarot works like this, too; you draw the cards you were meant to draw, at that time on that day. Tomorrow's cards may be completely different, but this is what you need to see today, right now. It may not mean anything tomorrow, may not make sense right now, but in the long run, it will.

Grief

My dog died today. It was an accident. She was gone so fast. I guess that's the way of it. It can be over in a heart beat for any of us. Maybe this just happened to remind me of that, again. I'm so shocked and sad and angry. I keep going over the what if's and nevers and should haves in my mind. I keep realizing the truth again and reliving it over and over. I think it's different when a dog dies than a person. Dogs become our friends in a way people never can be, especially over ten years of spending more time with the dog than anyone else.

She picked a good day to die, though. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, nature was alive and well all around us. It was peaceful. It didn't take very long for her to die so she didn't suffer too long. I got to bury her somewhere special, instead of a random house I'd have moved from in a year. She was old and deaf and tumor-ridden, and she could have gotten cancer or suffered through her end of days. I'm planning to adopt another dog, whom she never met, so I never had to worry if she felt replaced.

She died with my arm around her. I was with her right to the end, and that's how I always wanted her to die. She didn't die while I was out of town. I didn't wake up to find she had slipped away in the night. I was right by her as she fought for her life and comforting her as she drew her last breath. Besides more time I don't know what else I could ask for.

Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens when it's meant to. It hurts, but I will heal from this and at least, for the first time in a long time, I'm handling my grief from a more positive viewpoint. I have to drive down the road she died on, in the car she died in, walk past her grave, lie alone in the bed we used to sleep in, and live in a house where she no longer follows me room to room. And that's going to take strength I know I have. I just wish I didn't have to do it.

Hakuna Matata

It means no worries!

"Don't worry; be happy."

It means acceptance, not apathy.

Shooting stars and wishes

I saw a shooting star last night, one of the brightest I've ever seen--lit up the sky directly in front of me as I was driving! The usual wishes started running through my mind, and suddenly they seemed invalid--because they are things that I've either accepted will never happen, or things that are entirely within my control and that I know will happen anyways.

For example: "I wish to be a novelist." What a waste of a wish! I don't need to wish for that; I can just do it! So maybe, "I wish to be a famous/successful novelist"? Nah. Who cares? I just want to write the shit; I don't care how many people see it! It'd be nice, but it's not my dearest wish--and my dearest wish is an impossibility, so what else is left? Something for someone else, maybe?

Then it just occurred to me: Nothing. I wish for nothing! And I actually laughed! It was so liberating, not because I already have everything I could ever desire, but because I realized I don't need or really want much more. Anything negative in my life is also positive; there are pros and cons to every circumstance I'm living in, and it's all temporary. I have a few permanent sources of grief, but there's no point wishing those away!

That's called feeling satisfied, my friends. It's not happiness, but it's good enough for now.

unGod

God is not an omniscient sky-being.

God is not a person or even an entity.

 

Storm Clouds and Silver Lining

If you found out you had six months to live, forget what you'd do--how would you feel? Crushed, beaten, hopeless? Or content and at peace? It depends on the weight of your regrets vs. the amount of success you've had, right? Wrong. It's your perspective that decides.

You can focus on everything you didn't get to do, or you can focus on everything you did get to do. You can sit and pine over all those closed doors, all those broken intentions, all those dreams going up in smoke, or you can look back on your life and count your blessings, your joys, the things you did accomplish. "I never got to" or "At least I got to." The latter will make you happier, and that kind of thinking makes it easier to accept any kind of disappointment. It's not so much glass half-empty vs glass half-full, but more about feeling grateful rather than stressing over what you can't control.

You're going to be happiest focussing on what is still there and forgetting about what can never be. You're going to be the most miserable if you look at only what is lost and forget what you did have.
Realists would say to look at the big picture, all of it together, but that gives control to the circumstances, the lists, rather than to you. What if the bad list is longer? If the two lists are the same, you wind up somewhere between happy and sad. But if you burn the bad list, you're left with nothing but happy.

I never got to go to India.
I never got to go to India, but I got to go to France.
I got to go to France!

Which one would make you feel happiest to say? What would you be happiest to hear from a friend?
 

my ego is melting

Everything is different now. I'm different. I don't seem different, but I feel it. I try to act the same for the people who know me, but I don't know how much longer I can pretend. I hear the same old words coming out of my mouth in the same old style, but I'm more acutely aware than ever that it's not me, just my own personal masquerade for the world. I never realized until recently just how much I do and say for appearance's sake--so I seem nonchalant, or happy, or adventerous. I've always quite actively put on a poker face when depressed, but this is different.

This is me realizing that who was is not who is or who will be. This is me outgrowing my ego. This is my ego slowly crumbling away. I turned my nose up at the idea of abandoning ego, when I started this quest. Why would you want to give up yourself, your individuality? I figured, maybe you didn't have to do it; maybe you could just shrink your ego, let it take a backseat. Now it's happening anyway, because I realize that's not me. It's a colorful shell I've painted for everyone. It's what I've learned about myself from interactions with the people around me. It's me giving people what they expect, being who I have come to see myself as. And it's false.

I don't know much about the real me. I know she loves music and literature. I know she was born to write and would heal the pain of everyone she could lay her hands on, if she could. I know she finds peace in nature and moonlight. She can sense what others are feeling and make sense of what's in their cards. She'd die for her children. She loves her family, a handful of friends, and a man who may never feel the same. She's not new; she's been in there all along, but she's older than me, wiser in ways I don't understand yet. It's like she's waking up, testing her limbs.

All of the big things are the same, really, but this new person is more aware of herself. She understands who she is and wants to be, and she isn't going to let the actions of others deter her. She understands something about ... life, the universe, and everything... that I don't fully get yet. It comes out in little ways, here and there. I catch myself worrying about the same old things, only to hear a voice say, "What is meant to be will happen. Tomorrow could bring anything." and let it fall flat on the floor. I catch myself feeling sad, shedding a few tears, and I hear "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I sound like a regular schizophrenic, I bet, but it's just that I'm thinking differently. I'm more aware of my moods, of mistakes I've made and their consequences, of what I want in the future. I used to doubt destiny, because so many times, I'd thought I had a certain destiny only to be wrong. Your intuition can't tell you what your destiny is; it can only lead you towards it. I hold my tongue and wait, where I once would have acted on impulse--although not with money yet, it seems. I toss aside venomous thoughts, confide them in someone, or write them down once and discard them. I don't dwell as much.

What takes so much effort is keeping my behavior the same. No one probably imagined the hyper girl who loved to talk would suddenly clam up and have little to say. This person isn't chatty and cheery and energetic; she is quiet and reserved, watchful and introspective. She wants to listen, but the ego girl doesn't like silence and pipes up to get rid of it by babbling--which suddenly takes a lot of effort, whereas being an annoying chatterbox once came so easily. She isn't random or rash; she doesn't seek frivolous pursuits. She no longer wants to be entertained; she wants to create. She doesn't want to chase thoughts away with vices; she's happier meditating.

Me? Not wanting to drink? Me, in a group, hardly speaking? What?! Losing my taste for cigarettes? Well, that's not so surprising. I never cared for them much til I picked up the habit. I hope I don't wind up giving up weed. That'd be really weird. I wouldn't know that chick at all. Who is this girl that doesn't care anymore where her home is, or if she ever has one, when creating a home was once so important? The whole world is home; she wants to be in it, all over it. Who is this girl that doesn't care anymore if she ever finds true love, when it was once so heartily desired? There is so much in the world; how could the abscense of this one thing affect happiness? It's not that I don't want these things; if they come, I'll happily accept them. I just don't need them.

Facebook is terrible. It's not like MySpace, where you could be yourself, where it was about your friends and sharing your thoughts, good or bad. Now it's friends, family, in-laws, coworkers, ex-friends, frenemies. People don't speak the truth. When they're unhappy they log off until they have something happier to say. They pretend they're happy and their lives are great, when really they're average and dissatisfied. They fake confidence--something I've always faked and now suddenly feel building up inside.And my ego is still keeping up the Facebook game, because I'm still learning how to act in accordance with a new perspective, because ego is holding on tight, because I don't want people to see me changing. It feels private, like changing clothes--which also seems more private now, too, which is also weird for me! So, naturally, here I am blogging about it. Ha.

Maybe it has nothing to do with spirituality or waking up; maybe it's just the result of isolation, but I don't think that's it. I'm around people almost everyday; I'm just not close to them. I feel seperate from them, different. I've always felt that way, but it's more pronounced now--like I was a square peg in a round hole, only now I'm a HUGE square peg trying for a tiny round hole. It's a weird feeling but it doesn't bother me like it used to, and the insecurities I used to hold on to are starting to melt away, too. I don't look any different; I try to keep smiling and being that silly girl that's always been so animated. But I'm not really her anymore.

I have a lot of shit in my past I thought I'd come to terms with, thought was settled. Now I'm seeing places where amends still need to be made, confessions, apologies. I need to find a way to restore some semblance of a relationship with my mother, but with strong boundaries. I think I know a way. I think I almost forgive her--not because she deserves it, but because it doesn't hurt anymore and all I can think of is what if my kids grew up to hate me? I know that would never happen, because I don't--do to them the things she does to me. But there's got to be a way I can minimize the hurt I make her feel, while also minimizing her capacity to harm me.

I closed a lot of doors last year. I have one big one left to close--in the form of changing my last name back to what it should be. There's another I might need to close. It might be harder, but if it's truly outlived its time, it might not be afterall. Examining the pain I feel, there's only one major source causing pain; if I close the door, maybe it will go away in time. It is humbling to be so wrong and so dumb for so long; maybe it will turn out to have been a healthy experience after all. There's another source that I choose to block, and I know eventually I am going to have to open up the wound again and bleed the gunk out. It's the most recent scar that's still hurting, so it will probably be last.

I can't imagine anyone reading this and actually understanding what I'm talking about. I can't imagine my friends reading this and believing a word of it, thinking I'm all talk and full of shit. Maybe I am. But I know what I am, and I know what I'm not--well, moreso than I did. I'm in sort of a mixed phase right now, where ego and Whoever-She-Is are taking turns driving. My truth is almost ready to take the wheel, and soon I am going to step out of this outfit entirely and turn my back on it. If that means I have to leave a few more people behind, too, it's okay now. I don't need people anymore; I want them, but I do not need anyone, except my children--and maybe the dog.

We but mirror the world...

Ghandi is often attributed to the quote, "Be the change you wish to see," but that's paraphrasing. Here's what he actually said:

"We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do."

We use the paraphrased version because society likes empty, cheer-you-up slogans, but that's not what it is. When you change how you think, you change how others think; when you change how you act, you change how others act. When one person changes, others change; when people change, the world changes. When you change how you see and treat people, you also change how others do you. You may not notice it happening, but in time when you look back, you'll see.

As Above, So Below - Part Two

This phrase has religious meaning as well. It is from The Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus, part of the Hermetica, and originated in the Vedas, the sacred writings of Hinduism and Buddhism.

To quote Wikipedia, "In accordance with the various levels of reality (physical, emotional, and mental), this relates that what happens on any level happens on every other. This is, however, more often used in the sense of the microcosm and the macrocosm. The microcosm is oneself, and the macrocosm is the universe. The macrocosm is as the microcosm, and vice versa; within each lies the other, and through understanding one (usually the microcosm) you can understand the other."

As it is on Heaven, so it is on Earth. This means that man's actions on Earth reflect God's in Heaven and vice-versa for better or worse. God is the macrocosm; man is the microcosm. The two are the same and are both inside and outside each other. Through understanding yourself, you understand God and vice-versa. The astral plane is connected to the physical plane; the two are intertwined seamlessly. In the physical plane you are man; in the astral, you are God.

This is a base theory for witchcraft, magic, and alchemy. Mind and body are bound; the body is bound to the world; so the mind is bound to the world, too. What you imagine and desire in your mind, in the astral plane, manifests in the physical world through your actions and energies. As a human you can use your divinity in magic, but when you unite microcosm with macrocosm, human with divine, yourself with God, that's when your power will be greatest.

Learn as much about yourself as you can until you understand yourself better. Acknowledge what parts of you need changing. Analyze your past and revisit experiences you may still need to heal from. This can be painful, leading to tears and depression. You're emptying yourself of old structures--old beliefs, old fears, old pain, outdated ways of thinking, darkness. You're letting ego slip away, and it's a kind of death that is going to bring mourning. It's a necessary change of perspective; it's how you gain the beginnings of the insight you will need to embrace divinity.

Try to start wrapping your mind around universal concepts like karma, destiny, morality, the Wheel of Time/Fortune; learn to see yourself as both seperate and the same as God, the Universe, other people. Listen to your tuition. Get control of your mind and get your thoughts in the right place. As you do this, and then turn to taking control of your world, your feelings will slowly follow suit. Fix your habits; repair what's broken in your life. Right the wrongs of the past. Apologize to others, to yourself; forgive others, and yourself. Once your world is under control, start changing the world.

No amount of research can lead you to God; it's an understanding, a light, an inner peace that just sort of dawns upon you as you realize what's true and learn to be the you that you were meant to be and to see things as they really are in the grand scheme of things. That's what I hear, at least. I'm certainly not saying I'm there yet or ever will be. I think I'm in that emptying out, getting control, Dark Night of the Soul place. I'm learning theory, but it hasn't fully sank in into any kind of divine awareness. But I think it will. I think everything will just snap into place eventually, all at once--not in my life, but in my head, my heart, and my soul.

As Above, So Below - Part One

Your physical reality is a direct result of your mental reality.  What goes on up in your brain affects what goes on in your life. Your mindset has a tremendous impact on the world around you.

If you think you can't, you can't. If you think you can, maybe you can, and maybe you can't--but at least there's the possibility that you can.

If you expect negativity and look for it, you will find a lot of it. If you give the world the benefit of the doubt, you'll notice a lot more positive things.

This goes hand in hand with karma. It's not a perfect concept. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. Of course. However, if you smile at someone, usually they will smile back, and if you flip someone the bird, they'll probably return the gesture.

If you're a nasty person, you are going to find yourself surrounded by nasty people or alone. If you're kind, there will always be those wanting to take advantage, but kind people will be more likely to stick around after meeting you, too. It's your choice who you let in.

Your feelings and thoughts affect your words and actions, which affect your world more than anything. If you are thinking and feeling negative things, you are going to wind up saying and doing negative things that hurt your chances at happiness.

Even if you feel sad, you can focus on doing things that make you happy; you can catch yourself dwelling on negative thoughts and find something else to think about. You can ignore sadness until you've forced it to become too small to control you.

It's healthy to vent, but if you complain all the time, you're not making any progress. If all you ever have to say is how sad you feel, no one is going to want to be around you. Act happy. Fake it until it's through. It's not about hiding your emotions; it's about showing other ones, too. They're still there. Even in the darkest depression, a funny joke can make you laugh.

Some of this is a little empty coming from me, a person who gets into depressions so deep that no amount of friendly support or weed or even change can help. I have to drag myself out of it, slowly, and hope I haven't alienated myself too much from my friends in the process. I have to just wake up one day and say "I like the beach. Today I'm going to go to the beach." I might wind up just feeling sad on the beach, but at least I'm somewhere I like.

Maybe sadness is just our body's way of telling us it's time to be selfish. That doesn't mean be a bitch; it just means, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. Distract yourself. Spoil yourself. Do what you like. Think of something about yourself you're proud of in the morning and use it to metaphorically puff out your chest for the day. Indulge in something. Take a day off. Say "no" to people and things that make you unhappy.

We live in a society that preaches against selfishness, and it's created a completely selfish society. Selflessness is putting someone else first, doing things for the benefit of others. People seem to mistakingly think it means "Fuck your needs. Put me before you." It doesn't. You can make yourself depressed by being too selfish--by being a bitch. But the best cure for depression is selfishness.

What's up there controls what's down here. Control what's up there, and you have more control over what's down here. It seems like an impossible task, but it's not as hard as it seems. Maybe you don't want to or you think you shouldn't have to. That's laughable. It's your brain; who else should control it? The nature of life makes it imperative for you to control it.

The Wheel of Fortune is always turning. Life is a ferris wheel. You go from the top to the bottom and back on up again. There's only one Wheel, and it's spinning in every single area of your life. You can't control that Wheel or what height you'll be at when it stops. You can only count on the fact that it will keep turning and try to trust Destiny. If you're not attached to a certain outcome, to stopping in a certain position, you can't be disappointed with wherever you end up.

This is also true about your physical health. Your body is only as healthy as your mind. Stress, depression, addiction, anxiety can all cause physical symptoms to manifest, elevating your risks for health problems. Likewise, your mind is affected by your physical health, which can cause stress, depression, and anxiety, too.

You are responsible for your happiness, not the world. A little positive thinking goes a long way, and positive acting does even more. You can't choose everything that goes on in your brain, but you have enough choice to reprogram your thoughts so that you won't have to try to put on a good face, it'll just happen. If you're down, look at the big picture of life, rather than a snapshot of where you are now. When you're worried about the future, try to live more for the moment. Whatever you're looking at mentally that's bringing you down, flip it the bird, and look at something else.

Be the change you wish to see.

We hear this all the time, don't we? I used to scoff at it. When you're trying so hard for so long, and still there is no change, it seems like a pointless suggestion. It takes more than one person to create real change in the world; it takes a lot of people. Every person who does do it is one more person making that effort and possibly inspiring others to do the same. You have to start somewhere. You can make the world a kinder place by being kinder to the world. It doesn't seem like much, but imagine if everyone did it.

People say this to those who are unhappy in a relationship. A lot of "experts" will tell you that one person's behavior can turn a relationship around, because if you're singing a sweeter tune, it might influence your partner to do the same, either automatically or through making the choice to actively try. This may be true for a relationship that's going through rocky terrain or one of those flat phases, but when one person just doesn't really care, nothing you do is going to change that. Still, you don't know until you try.

It can be especially annoying to hear this when it's your life you're wanting to change. That's because what we're wanting to change are things we don't have complete control over. We don't want to change ourselves; we want to change things, objects, circumstances. We want to move, to travel, to find love, to live in a nicer home or drive a nicer car, to conquer health conditions, to lose weight or quit smoking, to get away from annoying neighbors or jerk bosses. You can't be those kind of changes.

You can, however, be the change you want to see in yourself, and in doing so make it more likely to achieve those goals--by working hard, by saving money, by trying and fighting and not giving up, by creating solutions, accepting help, keeping your eyes open for opportunity. Those are behaviors though, and you can't be a behavior. Your chances for making those changes are influenced by external factors outside of your control, too, which makes it unhealthy to want them too much.

You know what's not outside of your control? You. Your mind. Your heart. Take a closer look at what you want. Reevaluate that. Change what you want. Don't target an object, a thing, a circumstance. Focus on the abstract: your thoughts and your feelings. I'm not preaching the law of attraction here: that through positive thinking, you can attract positive experiences. The goal isn't to use positive thinking to get things you want; it's to want to think positively, to want only happiness above all.

If things in your life are making you unhappy, you are too attached to them. If change that isn't coming is making you unhappy, you want the changes too much. If you want something, and you just cannot be happy until you have it, you are giving it too much power! Be grateful for what you have. It sounds kind of patronizing, but try thinking about what you have that does make you happy, instead of what doesn't. What everyone really wants deep down is to be happy, so be happy. You're always going to want unhappy things to change; you just can't let those desires rule your thoughts and emotions.

If you want to feel happy, then think happy. Smile; it releases endorphins, which make you happier. Hug someone you love, really hug them, and take five minutes to feel thankful that they exist. Maybe your relationship isn't perfect; think about how your life would be without it. If it wouldn't be better, maybe you're more dissatisfied than you should be. Choose to be grateful--for the beauty in the world, for what (little) bounty you may have, for another day to create change and all the time left in life. Hope.

Try making what you want less specific. Don't focus on a specific outcome, on having specific needs met, on having your partner do or not do certain things. Being too focussed on specifics is a recipe for disaster, and when you free your mind from them, sometimes you realize the big picture is close enough to perfect already. Oh, you may want more; you'll always will, and ambition is healthy. But want happiness above all, and give it to yourself. No one can be happy all the time, but changing your perspective works wonders.

Your brain responds to external stimuli, but you control your thoughts and feelings. When you start thinking about unhappy things, it's your choice whether to mentally change the subject. When you start feeling sad, it's your choice whether to wallow or turn the radio up and sing until you feel better. When you think, don't focus on how bad it is but on what you can do to change it. Remember that sorrow is an unavoidable part of life that will always pass. It's okay to cry, because crying is a healthy release that is sometimes needed for healing.

Everything moves in cycles. What goes up comes down; what falls will fly again. Winter, spring, summer, fall, winter. Wealthy, poor, well-off again. Happy, sad, happy, sad. Look back at your life. You've had green pastures and rough terrain. Sometimes, it's crappy all around; sometimes, it's wonderful; sometimes, there's a lot of both. But no phase, good or bad, lasts forever. Change will come; that's the big picture of life. Stop rushing it.

You are God. Wanna be happy? Then be happy.

ego suicide

Kill your Self to find yourself.

When you find yourself, you find God.

When you find God, you find yourself.

Steak

"One day everything will be beautiful and perfect, and you'll have everything you ever wanted."
- me

I think it is of utmost importance to convince yourself that this is true and to live like this is true. There's no reason to believe it is, but there's no reason to believe it isn't either. There is no harm in it, only good, only peace. You're not going to get to One Day and realize that it was never true, because One Day is always in the future--so far in the future that all things are possible.

You gotta live your life like a dog, following a master who is dangling a steak. The dog looks pretty stupid, being tricked to follow this steak that he can't ever get--but it's not true that he can't ever get it. He will get it when master decides to give it to him. He believes when he gets to where master wants him to be, master will give him that steak. He's not thinking about whether or when he's going to get it; he's only focussed on the possibility, even inevitability that he will. He knows if he doesn't follow master, he certainly won't get the steak--so he follows because he knows if he wants it there is nothing to do but follow.

"If you think too much about what you're doing and what you should do, you waste too much time thinking about it and spend too little time doing it."
- my friend

One Day is that steak. Don't think about following it; just do it. Go with the flow, wherever it leads you. Just keep going towards the steak. Don't think about the other things you could be doing or should be doing. One day master will give it to you. Master is the grand design--destiny, whatever you wish to call it. One Day, you'll look around, and nothing will be as you expected or hoped--but you will realize that, despite that, you do indeed have all you ever wanted.

The steak doesn't represent any particular goal whatsoever. It's the reward at the end of the journey. Don't go around walking with preconceived notions about what the reward will be. It's a surprise. Just know that it will come, and it will be worth it. Do it because there's nothing else to do. Pass the A-1.

Dark Night

It is said to reach Enlightenment, or Awakening, or whatever you wish to call it, one must often pass through a Dark Night of the Soul or even several, until the dawn breaks, bringing new consciousness.

Jesus was a man and a god. He died on a cross in agony. For three days, he was dead, asleep, in darkness--wherever he was. Then he rose again and ascended to Heaven, no longer man and god, only god.

Is that not a perfect metaphor for freeing your mind of ego via the Dark Night of the Soul on the way to Divine Consciousness?

Kismet: fate, destiny, luck

Why are there so many words for this phenomenon in so many languages and cultures if it is not real?

The same can be said of faith, god, and the soul.

Gnosis

Gnosis: esoteric knowledge of spiritual truth held by the ancient Gnostics to be essential to salvation

sometimes referred to as personal experience with the "Divine Spark" -- experiencing God from within, not without 

"Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion."
- Budda

the Breaking

It is time to shatter the old belief systems--about everything from religion to relationships.

They are falling apart already.

They will not disappear in my lifetime or even my children's, but they are on the way out.

The world is changing.

Dogma's day is ending.

obligations

I am not responsible for your happiness. You are not responsible for mine.

I am responsible for my happiness. You are responsible for yours.

I will do what is within my power to promote your happiness, but do not blame me for your lack thereof.

It is not my obligation to hold your hand; it is your obligation to stand up and carry on, but I am happy to lend a hand to pull you to your feet and even a shoulder as a crutch over the rockiest terrains.

It is not my job to stand by your side at all times, forever, as you walk your path--for I have my own path to walk, and I cannot sacrifice it for yours. But so long as you stand at my side, I will be standing at yours, and we can forge a path together.

I cannot be your shepherd, because I must shepherd many and you are one. You are welcome to follow, but you will not tell me where to lead.

I owe you no promises or favors. I make promises to myself alone. I may make some to myself on your behalf, but not to you. This way I am accountable to myself if I break them, not to you, which is in your best interest, though you do not know it. If I choose to make you a promise, understand this is an honor I have bestowed upon you, and do not use it as leverage, for I will keep it in my own time in my own way.

I cannot be there for you all of the time, because I have many things to do, but I will be there for you when I can.

I do not have to keep you in my life. If you are sewing more negativity into my world than I can handle, then I must go. It is my choice to remain with you even when you are causing pain. Make this same choice about me and I will be more likely to make it about you.

I do not have to be nice to you all the time. It is no kind thing to reward someone for their rudeness, selfishness, or cruelty--nor am I a perfect person.

I do not owe you an apology. You do not owe me an apology. It is my choice whether to apologize, and it is yours as well. The same is true of forgiveness. But if you offer me sincere apologies and forgiveness, I will be more likely to offer you the same.

I do not have to agree with you. I do not have to keep my opinions to myself. I do not have to respect your dogma. I do not have to live a certain way to avoid offending you. You don't have to do these things either.

I cannot make you whole.  Only you can do that.

I do not have to put you before myself. Ever. It is my choice whether to do so.

Dogma and Enlightenment

I think the Buddhists are closest to having it right. I was never drawn much to Buddhism, except for certain concepts, because it seemed so complicated. And truthfully, I still believe the Buddhists overcomplicate concepts that, for mankind to truly embrace and benefit from them, need to be simplified. It was not meant to be a religion, but that is what it has become--and that makes it as outdated as the other dogmas of this world.

But there is universal truth and wisdom in every religion; you just have to cut through the superficial, elitest, meaningless drivel everyone has been spewing for so many centuries, proclaiming themselves Enlightened when in fact Enlightenment is not something you can reach in one lifetime, or many, if at all, because it is a continual process. As life and society on this planet changes, even the "Enlightened" will have more learning and growing to do to become Enlightened yet again. Maybe understanding this is the real key to Enlightenment.

Purpose

Everyone has a purpose in this world. Some people never discover theirs or even stop to reflect upon what it might be, but they still have one. I've been ruminating  a lot lately on what mine is. I always thought it was something like writing or music, but those are only methods, outlets, the how not the why.

I think I must be here, quite simply, to sew as much kindness, compassion, and forgiveness into the world as I can. It's something I've always tried to do, although I won't say I have never failed. I, in fact, fail on a daily basis because there are people I have yet to forgive, including myself. I've always felt guilty for even the smallest act of selfishness; it has taken me a long time to learn to "let" myself do things for myself without that feeling. I must be here to set a model for others, a template of selflessness, of love. Too many people equate selflessness with martyrdom. This is the kind of belief I am here to help change.

I think possibly I was born to be a vessel to absorb the hate, cruelty and pain of others, process it, channel it back into positive energy, and release it back into the world. This must be why I have run into so much wickedness and pain. This is why what I give to others is not returned to me--so that I will not expect return, because it is only my purpose to give. This is why I am an empath, why I can read the emotions of others so easily, why people are so willing to spill to me their deepest feelings--because I am here to heal them, even though I have such a hard time healing myself. This is why I have been a target for abuse--not because I am a victim, but because I am a vessel. People are supposed to pour their evil into me, so that I can turn it into good. It is my purpose to do this because I can, because I am strong enough, and I can do this because I was born to do this. I am open to suffering because I have suffered, and all of this has taught me the humility I will need to change this world.

I have been doing this all along my whole life unconsciously. It is no easy task, nor one I have always fulfilled. I have my own hurt to process and release, and I, too, have inadvertently released it into the world in some negative form or another--whether it be grouchiness, or hatred, or anger. I am nowhere near done, and it is a process I will have to repeat over and over, not only as I take in the negativity of others but also as I encounter more hurt and pain of my own in life. I know, though, that I am on the verge of new understanding. Even as I slide into depression yet again, now I give myself over to it, ride it, release it as it comes, and the smiles through my tears that once were painful and forced now come more easily. I smile because I am comforted by my tears, and when I smile, I am comforted even more. It is a smile of acceptance, of understanding that it is okay to feel this way, that this will pass and come again and pass, and that this is the way of life, especially for me.

I am still wrapping my head around new concepts of god and of love. I feel closer to understanding myself and the grand design than I ever have before, like a word dangling from the tip of my tongue that I can't quite get to come out. It feels like a sort of spiritual puberty, which is surprising, because formerly I had considered myself pretty spiritually evolved. Now I look back and realize it was more of an adolescense. My soul is growing up in this life. Perhaps the new bouts of depression are simply growing pains, necessary healing to facilitate a necessary heart opening. I am beginning to accept I have a certain path in this life that is very different than the one I imagined and wanted, and with that comes mourning for those lost intentions and possibilities. But the future holds all possibilities still. And as I come closer to this new understanding, I know that part of my purpose is to spread that understanding once I grasp it--to wake everyone else up.

I used to worry that I would die without ever being loved the way I wanted, needed, and deserved. Now I know this is a choice, not something that is out of my control, because I can learn to love myself this way. It is difficult because I have never had much love for myself really; that's always seemed selfish. I should love others, and love for me should come from others. But this is a false way of thinking. I must love myself so that others can learn how to love themselves--and because any love I feel for anyone else will be flawed until I am at peace within, which will only come through unconditional love for myself as well as everyone else, even the wicked hearts that sew sorrow into this world. Perhaps that is their purpose, and mine is the opposite--yin and yang.

I find myself increasingly fascinated by the concept of Twin Flames. I don't believe everyone has one, but I know that I do--because I can feel it, a longing, a calling that grows by the day, a knowing that there is only one person that I can ever meld with completely. I didn't know if I would find them in this lifetime, but now I believe that I will--and soon, probably within the next few years. Call it a premonition of sorts. Whether it'll be someone I already knew, and failed to recognize, or someone new entirely, I don't know--but I will be ready. Old ways of thinking, old beliefs, old peices of my life are falling apart. I am preparing to shed the trappings of the past, to close a chapter and open a brand new one. I don't know anything about this new chapter at all; it is wide open, bringing with it a sense of both uncertainty and freedom.

When I first started reading about Twin Flames and how they come together for a divine purpose in service to humanity, I assumed this work would begin upon the Reunion, that it is work that must be done together. Now I know this isn't true. I do not need my Twin Flame to begin or even finish this work. I began long ago. I remember a dozen "students" that I have connected with online and mentored, people that I have helped to understand the tarot, people I have brought into the Wiccan religion who later went on to forge their own paths, people I have helped through the tarot, a group of high schoolers gathering in a circle once a week at lunch, taking notes as I tell them about the All and magic and reincarnation, without even fully understanding myself. And I know that I have influence upon this world. I have not lost that. I just have not been using it.

I am under divine protection. What will be will be. I will go when it is time, whether I am finished or not, and I will be reborn to finish what I have started. All mourning for the events, losses or shortcomings of this lifetime come from the ego, my shell in this life, while the Divine within me knows that in the bigger picture there will be no true losses or shortcomings. My destiny is under divine protection. My union with The One, whether it is my Twin Flame, whether I even really have a Twin Flame, or whether it is merely a soul mate, is under divine protection. It does not matter if it happens in this lifetime. Time is infinite. It will happen. It is not my duty to seek these things. It is my duty to be patient as events unfold--not an easy task for a fire sign, and yet I seem to have an abundance of patience. It does run out, though, so my goal is to create an endless well of patience--and faith. Faith is not about religion. It's about trust--in life, in the natural order, in the Divine, whatever form that may take.

I, the essence of God, give my entire self to God.

I, the essence of God, give my entire self to God.

I, the essence of God, give my entire self to God.

Everything will come full circle.

Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya

I, the essence of god, give my entire self to god.

2=1

You are two selves:
both ego and god within
but you are one
and we are one.

Duality

"There is only one self within everyone and that one self appears to be seperate from God, but God is the self."
- anonymous

God's Responsibilities

What if you were God--not just to yourself, but the whole world? What responsibilities would you have towards others?

To shepherd them towards morality, without taking free will
To answer their questions honestly, even if the truth is unpleasant
To listen to their prayers and try to help, if you can, without taking the free will of others, or being unfair to others, or stunt their growth by not making them help themselves
To forgive them when they show sincere remorse
To hold them accountable for their actions
To make them atone for wrongdoing towards you
To love them, unconditionally, no matter what
To bless and reward them, where it is possible and deserved
To protect them without making them dependant upon that protection
To respect their rights--to life, to their property, to free will
To respect the individual journeys that they are on and so not judge them or be impatient

You have these same responsibilites towards people in your life already--to advise them, when asked, to do the right thing, to tell the truth, to listen, to help, to respect free will, to be fair, to forgive, to see that they make up for their wrongs before giving trust again, to love them, to reward them--be it through gifts, honesty, love, trust, or even just loyalty, to stand up for them...

You have those same responsibilities towards yourself, and as Gods, the people in your life have these responsibilities towards you, too.

The daughters of Zues...

Zeus, the chief God of the Greek pantheon, and his aunt, Themis, goddess of eternal order, had six daughters. There were The Fates: Clotho, who spun the thread of life; Lachesis, who measured it; and Atropos, who cut it. There was also Eirene, who stood for peace; Eunomia, for law and order; and Clotho, justice.

We are all subjected to Fate, and we should all be servants of peace and justice. Even though we are gods, with our own free will, we should remember that. It's too bad that we don't always, but then, perhaps that's our Fate. Even if we don't learn from the consequences, becoming better people, others can learn better by watching us.

You can learn what to do through others--as well as what not to do, whether they learn it or not. We don't just need cruelty and suffering and unfairness so that there will be a contrast between them and kindness and joy and justice, but also to learn the importance of kindness, joy, and justice.

History needs people like Hitler--to serve as an example for future generations. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we didn't? But imagine if our history was clear of abominations. How would we know what acts would be an abomination? If they were erased from our memory, and we forgot, how easy it would be to allow them to happen again...

Without war, there would not be peace, because we would forget its importance. Without unfairness, we wouldn't value justice. It is long since we experienced anarchy, but perhaps the reason why each society establishes some form of law and order is because they saw the consequences of chaos.

All that happens is Fate--not God's will, but the Wheel of Fortune, keeping us moving onward, teaching us, shaping us. There is always a silver lining--for unfair suffering, for example, it's strength gained and a better appreciation for fairness. We each have our own destiny, and so does the world. It's not always beautiful--but it can be.

Man vs Nature

They say that animals cannot commit murder--that they do not kill out of jealousy or hatred or anger, but that's not true. Animals kill to eat, to avoid being eaten, to protect their families, and also to compete--for a position, for food, for a mate. Some animals simply do not get along together and dislike each other. Anyone who has ever owned more than a few dogs can make that observation. Cats kill more creatures for play than any other animal.

But it's not evil. It's nature--the survival of the fittest. When humans do it, it's evil. We are not so unlike our animal brethren. We are willing to kill for the same reasons as them, some good and some bad. But when we do it, it's evil. That's because we understand the ramifications of our actions. We're capable of reasoning and choosing a less severe action. We're conscious--and we have a conscience telling us right from wrong.

Despite that, we still do wrong. It's in our nature, just as it's in the nature of all living creatures. We can choose to stand up to that. We don't always do that, but we're not perfect. That's why we have guilt, shame, and remorse--so that next time around, we will choose rightly, and so that we can try to make amends for what we have done. Animals are no less divine than us, nor we than them; we simply have more evolved brains.

Perspective

The world doesn't revolve around you, but your world does.

You see with your own eyes, and the things you do impact you the most. You should be aware of how your actions impact others, but in the end, you have to do what the right thing is for you. No matter how selfless the act, if it's not right for you, it's the wrong choice. Sometimes the selfless act is the right thing to do, and sometimes it's not.

two commandments

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:36-40

The second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. The second is like it.

lord (n):
1. a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler
2. a person who exercises authority from property rights; an owner of land, houses, etc
3. a person who is a leader or has a great influence in a chosen profession

We have free will. We have authority, control, and power over ourselves as well as our homes. We lead ourselves, through our consciousness. Whoever is your Lord is your God. That's you.

Be your own God. Love yourself. And if you can't yet, become a God you can love. That means being yourself--because you won't love yourself, if you're being something you're not--and possibly making a few changes. But really, wouldn't they be changes you've always intended, deep down, to make someday? There's no hope for you if you lack a conscience, but if you have a conscience, trust it, as well as your consciousness--and you can do and be the god that you're meant to be, perhaps not now, not overnight, but someday.

A teacher once told me in class, "You do not have a soul. You are a soul." I disagree. I am not a soul; I have a soul. I am a human, but that is only a shell. What makes me alive, immortal, and divine is the essence of life within me, the force that drives me, the eternal destiny that I am always moving toward. Every living creature has that, but because I am human, I am conscious of it--although not fully, not yet. That is god. That is my higher conscious, my greater purpose, my true nature, and it trascends the trappings of this life and every lifetime I shall endure. And that is where love comes from.

Questions

If you were God, would you live differently?

If you realized that someone you knew was God, would you treat them diffrently?

Why?

Why not try living in a way that would not need to be altered if you were God--and treating people in a way that would not need to change if they were?

And if you were God, would you love yourself as you do not now? If someone you loved was God, would you love them more?

Why?

What kind of god would you be? Would you pick someone specific to embody--a Greek god, an Indian goddess, the Great Mother, the All Father, Jesus Christ?

Or would you be your own god, like all of the rest have been? Would it be enough to be yourself? Would you need to change?

What if finding god is just finding yourself?

What kind of god are you? Are you the type of god that you or anyone else would want to worship?

What kind of god do you want to be? What kind of (wo)man do you want to be?

Different?

In the polythiestic pantheons, each god is an individual--with his or her own strengths and weaknesses, flaws and virtues. They were not perfect, but they were still gods. They did not try to be anything other than themselves, for better or for worse. Most pantheons had a chief god, but one thing they seem to agree upon was that the lesser gods had free will. Each stood for something; each one's personality represented an aspect of life, and yet it was not all that they were. Their lives were as complex as ours, and aside from immortality and their magical abilities, they were quite human. There was nothing divine about them at all, really, nothing you couldn't find in humans--except their immortality.

Do our souls live on after death? Are our souls mortal or immortal? When we die, do we return to a great sea of consciousness, losing memory and self, and becoming one with it, melding with the energies of others? Do we remain there, or are we reincarnated? If we're reincarnated, are we wiped clean at a soul level--do our souls cease to exist as they were and become part of a sort of homogenous pool, from which new souls are created? Or do our souls stay in tact throughout all of our lifetimes? Do we go to Heaven or to Hell? As long as you believe we do something more than cease to exist, our souls are immortal.

And while we may not have the literal magic abilities of the gods, we can wield the power of magic and of prayer in our lives. We can change--ourselves, others, the world. We can create anything--new life, art, cities, technology. We can destroy--life and nature, things that are good, things that are evil. We can wield the forces of "good" and "evil," with the very same hands. The gods could do things that we know are impossible, but then things are possible for us now that once were impossible.

What, then, makes us different from the gods of the polytheistic pantheons?

And if man is both human and divine, both good and evil, what makes us different from the God of the Abrahamic peoples, who has his own duality?

Who are your Gods?

God gives us free will and demands that we respect his. He loves us unconditionally and commands the same of us towards him. He forgives us anything and expects the same from us.

If we can do this for God, we can do this for the people in our lives--maybe not everyone, because we're not perfect, and neither is anyone else. But we can still apply these basic principles.

Respect people's free will, even if we don't agree with their choices. Love people, even if you don't like or even hate what they do. Forgive people, even if they don't deserve it. And ask the same of others.

Are there people in your life who you will always respect and love, no matter what, people you would forgive for anything? Are there those who would do that for you? Who are the Gods in your life?

"God is a Spirit." - Jesus, John 4:24

What can I learn from an imperfect God?

Let's look at this imperfect God of the Abrahamic peoples from a different perspective.

This God sacrifices his son for the sake of the world, and since his son is Him, it's really self-sacrifice. I'm not sure why he needed to do that. He's God, so he was capable of opening the gates of Heaven on his own. But okay.

The Bible is full of words about his jealousy, wrath, and vengeance. He tells man not to be like him in these ways, then condones stoning and gives forth a list of people that should be killed. But then his Son comes along, and we are freed from these old ways so that "Thou shalt not kill" becomes the supreme law. Good call, God. Laws should change with the times, and compassion is admirable.

He drowns the world in a flood, but he saves some righteous people. He later sees what he has done and vows not to do it again. So this is a god that can regret and learn from his mistakes and learn better judgement through experience.

If you apologize, he'll forgive you, as long as you're sincere.

If you come to him, and seek him, he will accept you and give you unconditional love, even if you err, provided you are trying, because he does not expect perfection. He tells us to love. Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love God, with the second greatest being to love your neighbor.

If you call upon him, he will listen to your prayers, giving you strength, courage, protection, whatever he can, within reason. He can be a good friend.

If you're a good person and you do good in the world, he will bless you--even if you have to wait til you're old and gray for that happy ending you deserve, like in The Color Purple, or until you're dead and go to Heaven. He rewards people for doing good.

God preached a fair bit of intolerance, but then his son Jesus began encouraging tolerance--and yea, God saw that this was good. It's good to change for the better. Sometimes the best thing to do is change your mind.

If you do wrong, he punishes you. There has to be some justice, some repurcussions for a man's actions, after all.

He recognizes the innocence and sacredness of children.

He is a Creator.

He takes full responsibility for his actions and offers no excuses, but does try to explain them. One of my favorite stories of gods taking responsibility is the story of Aries and Aphrodite, who are caught in the act of adultry by Hephaestus; undaunted by their shame, they name their daughter Harmony, who becomes the apple of her father's eye.

He can show mercy.

He acts as our judge in the end, judging us by the summation of our lives rather than this or that, and encourages us not to judge others, as we don't know them as He does. Both God and Jesus were anti-hypocrisy.

He wants us to realize that we are naturally sinners and accept that we are not perfect.

God wants us to have faith. Jesus once praised a Pagan's faith, incidentally. She was Roman.

He encourages people to give to the poor, to be faithful to their spouses, to work hard but observe a day of rest, to tell the truth. Don't kill, don't steal, don't waste.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. - Ephesians 5:1

The Delusion of a Perfect God

Let's talk about being Godlike. But God is perfect and infallible; he makes no mistakes. He is all-loving and all-forgiving. He is omniscent--sees all, knows all. He can do wrong. No one is that wholly good; no one can be so pure. It's impossible. Right?

That's bullshit.

Find me this perfect, infallible, all-loving, all-forgiving, know-it-all God. He doesn't exist--even in the Bible.

If God is perfect and infallible and makes no mistakes, explain man--man who murders and rapes, lies and cheats and steals, man who turns upon brother and wages war, man who has corrupted the environment and poached species' into extinction. If he is all-loving and all-forgiving, explain the Great Flood; explain the burning of Sodom and Gomorrah. If he knows all, why didn't he know in advance that he would regret the Great Flood and vow never to do that again--and thus not have done it in the first place? If he can do no wrong, wouldn't he have nothing to regret?

God said "Bring me fifty good men," and they could not--so everyone died, including the innocent children. Yeah, they were innocent children, so they were spared from a lifetime of sin and taken into Heaven to be with God eternally. That makes it all okay. (So does that make abortion okay? Would it be okay for me to kill a few kids? I mean, after all, they'd go to Heaven. It's cool, right?) I wonder if God has just never heard of Detroit or Juarez. But maybe they're next on the list now that New Orleans has been decimated.

And Lot is spared, along with his daughters. LOT, who offered up his virgin daughters to appease the angry mob that had gathered at his door, demanding that he give up his two visitors, angels in disguise, intending as it is insinuated to rape them. "No, spare them--take my daughters instead!" When told not to look back, Lot's wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Seems a heavy price to pay for looking back, but that's your reward for disobeying God. So God saves Lot, who is willing to sacrifice his daughters to a raping mob, and Lot's disobedient wife, and he lets all those other people, including the babies, die. Then, Lot's stupid, stupid daughters, believing they are the only people left in the world, get Lot drunk on wine and have sex with him to conceive children. You know what we call that today? Rape. But God makes no mistakes?

God tells Abraham to kill his son. Then he's like, "Oh, just testing you." That wasn't wrong? So, would it be okay for me to test my kid's father that way? "Go and kill our son, to prove you love me." Really? But it's okay for God to do it. Because God's God. Different strokes for different folks, you know.

I know, I know. Blasphemy. Burn me at the stake. Stone me. Leviticus commands it. I'm serious. 24:16

God also wants us to kill rape victims who don't scream loud enough:
If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city. Deuteronomy 22:23-24

And women who aren't virgins on their wedding night, and people who worship other gods, and disobedient grownup children, and alcoholics--even men who gather sticks on the Sabbath. It's all in Deuteronomy--quite a read. But per John 8, Jesus himself was opposed to all this stoning.

The point is, if this is the God we accept, then man is quite capable of being Godlike. We can be loving and forgiving; we can be blood-thirsty and wrathful. We can do harm to others; we can commit horrible acts, justifying them to ourselves with whatever reasons we'd like. After all, we were made in His image.

And the gods of the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and Indian pantheons weren't perfect either. There are hundreds of stories where they commit adultry, rape, murder, lie, steal--just do as they please, and man has to deal with it and still worship them and feel like shit if he himself does any of these things. Ever has it been that what a god does is okay, but if man does it, he should be ashamed and be punished.

So yeah, I'm still waiting for you to find me this God that isn't at all like mankind. Don't say Jesus. He let Lazarus die so he could bring him back from the dead. That's in John. This is quite an interesting read, even if it is long-winded. The guy is obviously biased, but he makes a few good points. I've always had a pretty high opinion of Jesus, but as I read through the Bible lately, he does sound an awful lot like the cult leaders of today--an exaggerated ego, speaking in riddles so that none (or only the enlightened) can follow his logic, switching from a gentle manner to an agitated one (yeah, Jesus does say some pretty rude things in the Bible, calling people swine and fools and whatnot).

I gotta wonder if maybe all of Jesus' miracles were just parlor tricks, and people back then, not understanding science and being more gullible than today, just weren't intelligent enough to see through it--and so immortalized it all in writing. You know, lead poisoning used to make people seem dead--and then they'd wake up in caskets. They used to put bells on the tombstones and have someone watch over each night for a bell-ringing. That's where the term graveyard shift came from. There are ways to "die" and then wake up, without divine intervention.

Now I'm not saying that's how it is, that Jesus was nothing more than a cunning cult leader. I'm just asking, what if?

If God were a man, not God, how would we judge him?

I know, more blasphemy. You'd better get to throwing those stones. We wouldn't want to disregard Leviticus. Or is the bit about homosexuality being a sin the only bit of Leviticus that is still relevant?

If you want to follow this guy, by all means, do it. He has good reasons that we don't always understand for the things that he does. (Just like murderers on Death Row.)

A New World Order..

I would like to see mankind unite, not in one religion, but in one consciousness. I'd like to see the world recognize that most of the religions, deep down, are preaching the same things, asking the same things of people, teaching the same lessons. We don't need a one world religion, because all religions are One--when you stop interpreting everything so literally, when you open your mind to the similarities between them, when you remember that people of every faith are *people* just like you, when you stop drawing lines and crying blasphemy... I would like to see us stand together in acknowledgement of these things--and stop fighting over what should unite us. We don't need to have the same religion to be united in our faiths.

Give yourself some credit

God didn't save you, bring you out of the clutches of addiction, drag you out of depression...

You did. The power to do that was within you all along. You just finally chose to call on it and called it God.

And it is--just not the way you think.

consciousness

There is a term in the New Age community: Godself, which means simply our higher self--the essence of our consciousness, the highest level of consciousness.

What if what we call God is not really a person at all, but just consciousness--that which seperates man from animal--the sum of consciousness that we all share?

Animals are as divine as we are, but lacking the conscious we possess, they do not have the ability that we do to find and contact the Godself within, to shape their lives to match their dreams, to choose to be the person that they wish. But then, perhaps lacking the conscious that we have, they are continually in contact with their Godselves...and thus have no need to do any of those things.

respect

If every person in this planet realized, "I am God" and then looked around in the realization that so, too, is everyone else, would people treat each other differently? If we were to see every person not as merely human but also as divine, would we give each other more respect? Why do we need something to be divine to give it ultimate respect and unconditional love?

revamping the Bible

Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

sort of gives new meaning to phrases like:

Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly. - Psalm 1:1

because it goes from meaning "don't surround yourself with people who aren't Christian and don't worship God" to meaning "don't surround yourself with people who do not see and strive for the divinity within them."

I would rather stand by a person who is truly Godlike, or tries to be, than a person who bows to a God in the sky, without knowing or trying to emulate said God in his life and actions.

Creator?

Here's a joke.

A caveman is building a fire when God shows up. "Who are you," God asks, "and how did you get here without a creator?"

The caveman says, "Funny. I was about to ask you the same thing."

Within you

Hindu legend states that before our time, people were all Gods but misused their Divinity so that Brahma decided to hide it in a place not to be found: the deepest part of man, the only place he would never look. Since then man has scoured the Earth searching for what can only be found deep within.

http://www.life-cycles-destiny.com/n1/anold.htm

Taqwa

Taqwa: an Islamic concept interpreted, depending on who you ask, as meaning self-awareness, God consciousness, faith in God, fear of God, righteousness, the divine spark within man, being conscious of God in all affairs, and self-restraint. The literal translation is to protect, as in to protect onself from sin or from the Wrath of Allah.

Hinduism

Hinduism is the third largest religion in the world, after Christianity and Islam, and the "oldest living religion."

"According to Hinduism God is One, but also Many... Hinduism believes that man is divine in nature. The basic purpose of a human being is to realize this divine nature in him."
http://www.hinduwebsite.com/beliefs.asp

"Hinduism grants absolute and complete freedom of belief and worship Hinduism conceives the whole world as a single family that deifies the one truth, and therefore it accepts all forms of beliefs and dismisses labels of distinct religions which would imply a division of identity. Hence, Hinduism is devoid of the concepts of apostasy, heresy and blasphemy."
"The goal of life, according to the Advaita school, is to realize that one's ātman is identical to Brahman, the supreme soul"
- Wikipedia

All Pervasive Divinity
"He is the God of forms infinite in whose glory all things are--smaller than the smallest atom, and yet the Creator of all, ever living in the mystery of His creation. In the vision of this God of love there is everlasting peace. He is the Lord of all who, hidden in the heart of things, watches over the world of time."
- Krishna Yajur Veda, Shvetashvatara Upanishad 4.14-15

Dharma, restraint by moral rules, per Hinduism is what seperates man from animal--basically, the knowledge of good and evil, which was attained by Adam and Eve by eating the forbidden fruit. But animals, too, are divine, despite not having dharma, because of all pervasive divinity. I think it's because of dharma that man doubts his own divinity, because he cannot always exercise restraint.

Parenthood

So God is the father, and we're his children, right?

Children grow up to become men -- and fathers, and so do their children.

So it makes sense that the children of God would grow up to become God.

god-man

Merriam-Webster

god-man (noun)
1. one who is both God and man : christ 1 <when man prays, the sacred image of the God-man is with him — H.O.Taylor>
2. one who is both a god and a man or who has the qualities of both : demigod, superman

Duality and plurality

"And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." (Gen 2:16-17)

But they didn't. Or did they? Before that, men were like animals--with no concept of good and evil. What was simply was, and it was neither good nor evil, as in nature. Man was innocent, like a child. But eating it opened them to the idea of morality, changing their conscience, so that they realized that there was both good and evil in them, opening them to shame and their own plurality. Their former selves, pure and innocent, gave way their to dual selves, made of good and evil.

God makes references to his own plurality in Genesis:
"Let us go down, and there confound their language." - 11:7
"Let us make man in our image, after our likeness." - 1:26

Sure, he could have been speaking to the angels, but that would mean the angels were like God. If he wasn't speaking to himself, he was speaking to others like him, who helped with creation, but the Bible makes it clear God alone was responsible for creation. Therefore god was speaking of himself and to himself. Maybe he was schizo? But more likely he was recognizing his own plurality.

“Man is God in the making.”
Manly P. Hall

Quakers

"There is that of God in every man."
- a Quaker teaching, used often by George Fox, founder of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), derived from Romans 1:19

"Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God has showed it unto them."
- King James Bible

Mormonism

"...you have got to learn how to be Gods yourselves, and to be kings and priests to God the same as all Gods have done before you"
- Joseph Smith, LDS founder (April 6, 1844)

"The Lord created you and me for the purpose of becoming Gods like Himself"
- Brigham Young, 2nd prophet and Mormon president

"As man is, God once was; as God is, man may become."
- Lorenzo Snow, 5th LDS President

Subtlety

There is not a God.

There is God.

Do you see the difference?

the humanity of the Christian God

The Christian god is supposed to be perfect, and yet, he too, is as like man as the gods the Christians dismiss as myths. He was jealous by his own admission; the vastness of his vengeance can be seen in the Bible, through the stories of the flood, of Loki, of Hell, and the revelation; he could be angry, spiteful, even wrathful; he could be a trickster, convincing a man to kill his son just to see if he would do it, then changing his mind. Some people say God never changes his mind, but after the flood, he showed regret and vowed never to destroy mankind again... and yet then goes on to promise the Revelation, in which the "evil" people will be purged from the Earth.

(But so long as man goes on breeding, there will always be evil, so does God plan to sterilize everyone post-apocalypse? Or will all new children be so full of light that they do not succumb to temptation? Will there be no chance for them to sin, because they will be surrounded by good influences? And yet we see that even at the dawn of time, before evil spread about the planet to influence, man committed sin--by eating from the tree and obeying the snake, when Cain killed his brother Abel... And what's with this world with no dark, only light? The world kind of needs the dark to rest, just as it needs winter--and evil for there to be good.)

The point is, even the Christian god has qualities that are divine and human. Just as mankind has the same duality.

division vs unity

God shouldn't be a divider, seperating the good from the evil for reward or punishment, dividing people by religion and faith. God should be a unifier, teaching people to blend good and evil, uniting people in faith, regardless of religion.

quotes...

“It is a denial of the divinity within us to doubt our potential and our possibilities.”
― James E. Faust

“You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of All that is, will be and ever was.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

“Divinity for the sake of the simple-minded is beautiful. Those theological assertions you write, say, or live by that you later feel foolish about, it means God still lives in you enough to tell you that they were indeed foolish. By mistakes you know you are alive.”
― Criss Jami

“One should be embarrassed to speak of God in the third person.”
― Walter M. Miller Jr

love and the soul

If love comes from the soul, then any creature that can love has a soul.

And if love doesn't come from the soul... if it's nothing more than chemicular, what good is it?

Souls

When an animal kills another animal in nature, we do not call that murder.
When a human kills another, we call that murder.

Animals do not know right from wrong; they have only instinct.

Humans have the benefit of a conscience and the knowledge that there are spiritual ramifications.

Is that because humans have souls--but animals don't? Have animals not yet developed souls, or have they evolved past having a soul? Or are our souls just more evolved?

God is divine and therefore everything that comes from it is divine: every atom, molecule, rock, tree, and creature.

angels and devils

Perhaps the devils are the humanity within us and the angels are the divinity within us?

Or are devils also divine and angels also human?

What if humanity and divinity is the same?

divinity in humans

Perhaps more than any other religious tradition, Hinduism recognizes divinity in human beings. Many spiritual teachers are considered to be souls who have ascended to be one with the supreme being; others think of holy men and women as the descent of the divine being to earth.
~ Vasudha Narayanan

Priorities

It is not important how or where you find God, but that you find God.

It does not matter how you see God, but that you feel God.

It's not about what you make of God, but what God makes of you.

God

The Intangible God

God: the unseen, divine force that reigns supreme over this world, governing nature and all that is, dwelling in every living creature and propelling each man towards the true purpose of his birth to make him the person that he was meant to be: one who loves himself, others, and the world unconditionally and uses that force and that love to create positive change first within self and then within the world; the breath of life, the escense of being alive, the fifth element which is called "Spirit" or "Soul," and the source of all magic; the All, both yin and yang, a pool from which springs every possible human emotion, experience, and desire, which every man will encounter on his path to God and even after; Love, unconditional love, which persists endlessly, and will not be overcome, despite human fallacy and the negative emotions that swim around it.

God as a Being

a god: a man--any man, every man

goddess: a woman--any woman, every woman

demi-god(dess)--an individual aspect of god(dess), that is to say of the human psyche

God(dess): the (wo)man who is fully awakened and self-realized, in touch with the force and love of God both within and without, who has learned to balance the forces of yin and yang within, and wields this inner force in the world.

Godself: your true nature, the person you are meant to be

God: the masculine half of the Twin Flame, to whom Goddess answers as God

Goddess: the feminine half of the Twin Flame, to whom God answers

God as Diety

Aphrodite: the goddess of love within a woman

Eros: the god of love within a man

Athena: the goddess of war within all women

Aries: the god of war within all men

And so on, and so forth. When you are calling upon Artemis, you are calling upon that aspect of the Goddess within yourself and the world. It is not an invisible, omniscient being from which your strength comes from. Belief in that just helps you tap into the strength that is already available to you in yourself, in others, and in nature.

Perhaps this makes me seem like an Athiest, but an Athiest is one who does not believe in God. I believe. The power of God and to be God is within all of us.

"Be still--and know you are God."
- Angelina Heart

In you

Do not look above to the cosmos for god, or beneath to the underworld for devils.

Look within.

Mythology

Before there was only one, perfect God, there were many Gods, who were both perfect and flawed, who lived out a grand soap opera not unlike that of humanity. They were divine, yet they were also very human.

Like man, they exercised free will. They gave in to temptation and acted upon impulse. They were ruled by their love, their hate, their anger, their lust. They lied, committed acts of vengeance, cheated on their mates, womanized, killed, meddled in the affairs of man. But also they could love, defend, tell the truth, be merciful and kind, make amends, and accept the consequences of their action.

Each God represents different aspects and faces of man and life. While man may identify more strongly with one God than another, each God represents a peice of the humanity--and divinity--that dwells within mankind. In each of us is a Zeus, an Aphrodite, an Aries, an Isis, an Eros. And when we take the myths as metaphors, we can see the parallels in our lives.

Perhaps the ancient myths are not simple stories created by unenlightened people to entertain, but to guide man in his actions through stories about the actions of the god, so that man could learn through those stories how each action has a consequence, about psychology and human nature, and the nature of the world and the myriad directions human interaction can take.

Perhaps the Greeks did not tell the story of Persephone's descent into the underworld to explain why we have summer and winter, but simply that we have summer and winter. Perhaps it wasn't about why things are the way they are, but simply to explain how things are.

Forgive, but do not forget.

"In perfect love and perfect trust"

does not mean trusting everyone completely and deluding yourself into thinking everyone is flawless.

If I know that a man can be trusted, I trust him.

If I know that a man cannot be trusted, I do not.

If I know that a man can be trusted with my secret, and not my wallet, I give him my secrets to hold but not my wallet.

If I know that a man will save my life, but may lie to me, I trust him with my life, but question his word.

Such is perfect trust. It sounds as a contradiction, but the point is: trust someone to the extent that they can be trusted, and do not let a breach of trust in one area contaminate the trust in other areas that has yet to be broken.

And as for perfect love, love someone for who they are, have been, and will be. See their flaws, and love them. See their beauty, and love it. And love them despite their sins, for to sin is to be human, but bear in mind the rule of perfect trust.

God's Love

We are the gods, but mankind has forgotten his divinity.

Once you accept yourself as a God, and everyone else in the world as a God, only then can you find God's love.

Love yourself, as you would love God and as God would love you.

And love others as you would love God and as God would love you.