Monday, May 6, 2013

Shooting stars and wishes

I saw a shooting star last night, one of the brightest I've ever seen--lit up the sky directly in front of me as I was driving! The usual wishes started running through my mind, and suddenly they seemed invalid--because they are things that I've either accepted will never happen, or things that are entirely within my control and that I know will happen anyways.

For example: "I wish to be a novelist." What a waste of a wish! I don't need to wish for that; I can just do it! So maybe, "I wish to be a famous/successful novelist"? Nah. Who cares? I just want to write the shit; I don't care how many people see it! It'd be nice, but it's not my dearest wish--and my dearest wish is an impossibility, so what else is left? Something for someone else, maybe?

Then it just occurred to me: Nothing. I wish for nothing! And I actually laughed! It was so liberating, not because I already have everything I could ever desire, but because I realized I don't need or really want much more. Anything negative in my life is also positive; there are pros and cons to every circumstance I'm living in, and it's all temporary. I have a few permanent sources of grief, but there's no point wishing those away!

That's called feeling satisfied, my friends. It's not happiness, but it's good enough for now.

No comments:

Post a Comment