obligations

I am not responsible for your happiness. You are not responsible for mine.

I am responsible for my happiness. You are responsible for yours.

I will do what is within my power to promote your happiness, but do not blame me for your lack thereof.

It is not my obligation to hold your hand; it is your obligation to stand up and carry on, but I am happy to lend a hand to pull you to your feet and even a shoulder as a crutch over the rockiest terrains.

It is not my job to stand by your side at all times, forever, as you walk your path--for I have my own path to walk, and I cannot sacrifice it for yours. But so long as you stand at my side, I will be standing at yours, and we can forge a path together.

I cannot be your shepherd, because I must shepherd many and you are one. You are welcome to follow, but you will not tell me where to lead.

I owe you no promises or favors. I make promises to myself alone. I may make some to myself on your behalf, but not to you. This way I am accountable to myself if I break them, not to you, which is in your best interest, though you do not know it. If I choose to make you a promise, understand this is an honor I have bestowed upon you, and do not use it as leverage, for I will keep it in my own time in my own way.

I cannot be there for you all of the time, because I have many things to do, but I will be there for you when I can.

I do not have to keep you in my life. If you are sewing more negativity into my world than I can handle, then I must go. It is my choice to remain with you even when you are causing pain. Make this same choice about me and I will be more likely to make it about you.

I do not have to be nice to you all the time. It is no kind thing to reward someone for their rudeness, selfishness, or cruelty--nor am I a perfect person.

I do not owe you an apology. You do not owe me an apology. It is my choice whether to apologize, and it is yours as well. The same is true of forgiveness. But if you offer me sincere apologies and forgiveness, I will be more likely to offer you the same.

I do not have to agree with you. I do not have to keep my opinions to myself. I do not have to respect your dogma. I do not have to live a certain way to avoid offending you. You don't have to do these things either.

I cannot make you whole.  Only you can do that.

I do not have to put you before myself. Ever. It is my choice whether to do so.